Risk Vs. Outcome

Sometimes it is the element of risk that makes the experience meaningful.

That statement is so true. It speaks to the significance of risk, the thrill of the gamble, that moment of suspense where you’re waiting to see what’s going to happen.

However, I wonder how many people would still agree with that statement if the gamble they took, so to speak, ended badly for them. I’ll be honest, when things don’t go my way, I have feelings of regret and disappointment. Sometimes those feelings are combined with rejection, be it perceived or real.

Is the risk still meaningful even if the result is failure?

I can think of one time (in the not so recent past) in which the risk made the experience meaningful, even though things ended badly for me. The temporary shock of rejection quickly gave way to strong revelations about the kind of person I was. Sure it was painful, but I learned important lessons. Like how I should always trust my instincts. That blood really is thicker than water. And how I should (and will) never apologize for who I am.

I learned that just because one person doesn’t like who I am, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m the bad guy.

But let’s be honest: Risk without gain is kinda crappy. Risk that ends in failure IS crappy, even when you factor in valuable lessons learned, if any.

It leads me to this question:
Is it so bad to want to know the outcome before I make the investment and/or take the risk?

Would the investment mean the same thing if I knew, going into it, that it was a sure thing?

I don’t know.

I can tell you the suspense, the not knowing, the hanging around in limbo-land, sucks. It’s awful. You can’t really do anything, so you think. And think some more. And after that, guess what? You think a little bit more. There’s a term my friend and I use to describe this kind of thinking whilst dwelling in limbo-land. We call it mind-fuck.

Harsh. Certainly crass. But very, very true.

As your brain makes its feeble attempts to run through every possibility, every permutation, your emotions and desires unavoidably steer your mind to dwell on the outcome you wish for the most.

Thus begins the mind-fuck cycle.

Wait. Think. Hope. Think. Beg. Think. Promise. Think. Threaten. Think.

None of which has any effect on the outcome because there’s nothing you can actually do.

The funny thing is, if I knew the outcome before I made the investment (or took the risk), hypothetically the hanging-in-suspense part would disappear. It would simply be an inconvenient waiting period before achieving the known outcome.

That brings me back to the question I had earlier: without the suspense, without the risk, without some personal effort, would I still value the outcome? Or is it the blood, sweat, and tears? Is the journey what it’s really about?

I don’t know.